Welcome to the World
by FionaSkellington
Summary: Matt and Mello were very smart. They knew that. An accident and an arrest aren't normal friend making strategies, but they aren't normal people. Spoilers in later chapters, I'll put up warnings.
1. Welcome to Wammy's

Hai buddies! I was bored (big surprise there XD), so I started this a few forevers ago, then forgot about it. But then I remembered it :P

I was originally making a one-shot, and they were thirteen, but then I was going to make it continued when they're older, but then I decided to make it with them when they're younger, so first it's when Matt gets to Wammy's, then Mello. Next chapter, they're older (I already wrote it XP).

Also, until they get to Wammy's, they're being called by their real names, not aliases. Just 'cause when it always switched back and forth in fics I get confusled :P

Also also (roflcopter), the song for this (it's not a songfic, but the song still works) is When It's Time by Green Day. It kinda works for the whole thing, I guess.

_Welcome to Wammy's. _

Grinning, Mail jumped down the brick steps leading to his house, three at a time. It was his seventh birthday, and he knew _exactly_ where his parents were taking him, but he would pretend to be surprised for their sake.

The biggest toy store in their town wasn't very big, but Mail had never left for any long period of time, so to him, the store was huge. Playing With Fire (Mail only knew the name because he went there so much and knew everyone who worked there; it was because the owner's favorite toy, and first toy they sold, was a dragon called Fire) was next to the only candy store (_very originally _named Candyland), and Mail knew his parents would take him there, too.

It was all a seven-year-old could ever want for his birthday.

"Mommy! Mommy-Mommy-Mommy-Mommy! LOOK!" Mail pointed a small finger to a big stuffed elephant, almost up to his shoulders. "I want THAT one!"

His mom smiled a big smile, which made Mail grin, showing the space where his front tooth had been.

They got the elephant, and put it in the car before going to Candyland.

Mail could get whatever he wanted.

He ran as fast as his little kid legs could carry him through the big doors, with big plastic candies in a big arch. He squealed at the enormous, clear containers of candy in front of him the moment he stepped through the arch.

Gumballs and sour strips and gummy bears all tumbled into a paper bag, and another, and another, until he finally had to stop because he couldn't hold any more.

"Mail, we're going home," his dad eventually said.

"Nooooooo! I want more candy!"

"You'll get sick," he said. "You don't want to get sick on your birthday, do you?"

Mail huffed and crossed his arms, the sleeves on his spotted shirt slipping past his fingertips. "Fine."

In the back of the car, refusing to sit in his car-seat (it was his birthday, he could do what he wanted), Mail played with his elephant, a long sting of licorice between his teeth.

"I will name you Elephant," he whispered in the fuzzy ear. "It suits you."

_Crash._

"Oh, shit!"

_Spin._

"Mommy?"

_Shatter._

Mail jerked forward, and the seatbelt rubbed painfully against his neck, making him drop Elephant.

"Mommy!"

_Bang._

"…Mommy…? Daddy?" No response. Mail struggled against the seatbelt holding him back, tried to sit up. His arm hurt, and his neck hurt, and everything was sore.

There were noises coming from outside. It sounded like people were shouting.

_Kid there._

_Get him out._

Mail felt like his brain had turned to mush. His head felt heavy and he couldn't see right and it was _scary_.

"Mommy?"

_Blurry._

"Mom…Mommy…"

_Dark._

_Beep…beep…beep…beep…_

Mail sat straight up. The beeping went faster as he looked around him at the white walls, white sheets, white floor.

It was creepy.

Mail hated hospitals already, but automatically hated them even more.

"Mommy…?" he called, eyebrows knitted together when he got no reply. "Daddy?"

There was still nothing.

"Mommy!" he shouted. The beeping went even faster. "Where are you?"

A door on the other side of the room opened, and a doctor with a white coat (_hate white coats_) walked in.

Mail didn't like him.

"How are you feeling, Mail?"

"Where's my mom?" he asked quietly, pushing himself back against the scratchy pillows. "I want Mommy."

"She…she can't be here right now."

_Playing dumb with me._

"Where is she?" he asked, a bit louder this time. "Tell me."

"She can't be here now," the doctor repeated.

_Thinks I'm stupid._

"Tell me!"

The doctor paused. "I'll be back in a moment. Please hold on a second." He walked away, without any further explanation.

"Tell me where she is!" Mail shrieked.

The door clicked shut.

Tears started slipping from Mail's eyes. _What if she…what if they…no…can't be…_

_It's my birthday._

_No one can die on my birthday._

Mail was sobbing soon, full-body sobs that wracked his tiny frame like mini personal earthquakes.

He almost didn't hear the door open again. This time, instead of the doctor, an old man in a suit with a mustache and a kind smile walked in.

"Hello, Mail," said the man. "I'm Quillish Wammy."

"Where's Mommy?" he asked again. He didn't expect any good answer. Adults never talked to him like he was smart, even though he could beat basically anyone at basically anything.

"I'm very, very sorry," he said. "It's never good to be the one to have to say this."

_No._

"Your parents…"

_No!_

"They died in the car collision."

_NO!_

Mail shook his head. "No they didn't," he whimpered. "It's my birthday. No one dies on birthdays."

"I'm truly very sorry."

"No."

The man went on. "It has been discovered that your intelligence is quite above the average. There is a place you might want to look into going to."

"My parents aren't dead," Mail said. _Can't be._

"I'm sorry."

_Welcome to Wammy's._

Mail couldn't keep anything. Not Elephant, not his clothes.

Not his name. Secretly, he wrote it on his arm in sharpie, every day, so it wouldn't fade away. He wanted to keep his name.

But he still wasn't Mail anymore. He was Matt now. After two weeks, he couldn't quite answer to it as quickly as he normally would.

He couldn't wear spots anymore.

He'd asked a girl (her name was Linda; she was nice) and she said the opposite of spots were stripes. Matt wasn't sure he believed her, but it was the best he could do.

Matt rid everything of spots that he could.

It made him think of his parents.

_Stop._

_Forget._

_Please._

"Mihael, get in here."

He was seven now, almost eight. No one seemed to care, though, that he was only a little kid.

"Yes, Daddy?"

He was seated in front of the TV, arm around another girl. Mihael didn't like them. He wanted Mom back.

Before she'd died in the car crash, everything had been great. But then Dad had started drinking the stuff that smelled bad, and he'd turned mean, and he brought home those girls. They smelled like the drink.

He hated them.

"Get Daddy his drink," he slurred. "And another for Amber here."

"Julie," she reminded quietly, twirling a bit of bleached blond hair around a badly-manicured finger.

"Yeh, Julie, huh. Beer, Mihael."

"Yes, Daddy." His small hands were clenched into fists as he went to the dirty refrigerator. "Um, Daddy?" he called into the other room. "There isn't any left."

"Eh, c'mere."

Mihael stomped into the living room and stood in front of the TV with his arms crossed around his skinny chest.

"Guess they won't let you pick some up for me…" his dad said contemplatively. He pulled out a grimy five-dollar-bill from his pocket and handed it over. "Get me a…I dunno. Some burger or something. McDonald's. I don' care."

"Okay." Mihael shoved the money into his pocket and walked away.

At the McDonald's closest to their house, he ordered a hamburger and some fries for himself (mooching when he was doing errands was really the only way he got food), almost not able to reach the top of the counter, and walked back home with the greasy bag clutched between his fingers.

When he got back to the house,it was surrounded by cars.

So much noise.

So many lights.

Mihael clenched his teeth and walked through them. He didn't know why the police would be here; maybe it was nothing.

But Daddy was in one of the cars…

"_What did you do?" _he saw his dad mouth. "_Idiot kid._"

Mihael's eyes went wide, and the McDonald's bag dropped to the ground. "Daddy?"

"Come with me, kiddo."

An hand was around his arm.

"Let go of me!"

"We're not going to do anything you don't want," said the man with a hat. He was a policeman, wasn't he? This was strange. "But you can't stay home alone."

"I do it all the time anyway," Mihael said. "Daddy isn't home a lot. I'll be fine."

"We need you to come with us."

After five minutes of arguing, Mihael ended up in the back of one of the police cars, fingers tangled in his hair. He didn't like this. He was getting nervous.

_Heroin._

_Meth._

Mihael recognized those words. He'd heard Daddy use them. Why were the police saying them?

This was scary.

The man with the hat was leading him into another room, an empty one with a few chairs and some magazines. He brought him a juice box and a cookie, and left without explanation.

Mihael had never felt so lonely.

"Mommy, I miss you," he whispered at his hands. "I wish you were here."

There was lots of bustling and noise on the other side of the door, and Mihael hopped off the chair and looked through a small window into the hallway.

He couldn't see anyone but policemen and some of Daddy's friends. No one he knew.

An hour later, he was curled up on the chair, trying to sleep. Nothing happened.

The door opened, and an old man with a mustache and a suit walked in.

"Who're you?"

"I'm Quillish Wammy. You must be Mihael."

He nodded once, getting a smile in return.

"I'm afraid you won't be able to stay with your father anymore." _What?_ "But it has come to our attention that you are a very smart boy."

Mihael smiled a big smile. _Finally._ "Mm hmm."

"There's a special place for very smart children like you. It's called Wammy's. Only the very best get to go there." He smiled again. "All we need now is for you to agree."

Mihael grinned even wider, nodding quickly so his neck was a bit sore.

"Very good."

_Welcome to Wammy's._

Despite being happy, Mihael was scared going into the big building.

But, no. He wasn't Mihael anymore. He was Mello now.

In all honesty, he didn't _want_ to be Mihael. He'd learned, over the past few months, that his mom hadn't really wanted that name. It was his dad's idea.

He hated his dad.

"Mello, this is your room."

There was nothing in the room except a bed, a few books, and an oddly skinny boy in stripes.

"This is Matt."

The skinny boy in stripes looked up, blinking his huge as at Mello. "Uh, hi."

"Matt, this is Mello."

Mello smiled. The boy, Matt, had absurdly messy hair and was missing a front tooth.

He was kind of adorable.

Mello smiled hesitantly. "Hi."

Matt smiled back, and both of them thought the same thing.

_I like him._

Yay! Chapter one's FINISHED! WOOOOO! **victory dance**

I have chapter two basically finished. It should be up soonish. Then, they're around thirteen.

So, about the spots thing, I thought that Matt wouldn't have, probably, worn stripes even before Wammy's. It just seems kind of unlikely. So I made him hate dots, and like stripes, because the two don't go together, and all he wears is stripes :P

Thanks for reading :D

Reviews are like blood for vampires. I'm a reviewpire XP

Also, you'll get cookies. And a ninja hug. I think that's a pretty epic trade.


	2. Nightmares

Hai buddies! I was bored (big surprise there XD), so I started this a few forevers ago, then forgot about it, and then while I SHOULD be doing my final (because my school's run by idiots and they make us do projects FOR EVERY SINGLE CLASS instead of a TEST! But I finished them all, so it's all good ^_^). So here you go :D

This is while they're at Wammy's. They're…like…both thirteen (they're always a year apart, but there was a ginormous chunk of the year when they were both thirteen. So yeah :P)

And I'd put in little break thingies in chapter one, but they hadn't showed up, so if anyone knows how to fix that and told me, that would be awesome. I'm trying letters and things this time :/ o's are the beginning and end of the story, and 0's are the chunks of story that need to be kept apart :P

And FINALLY! Big shout-out to spontanious reality, Atori1001, and Sashocirrione for faves and reviews (you made my day!) ^_^ you're why this is updated now instead of in a THOUSAND YEARS!

Don't own anything, didn't own anything when I forgot to put a disclaimer in before. That would be too awesome. It would be an awesome overload, and I'd go splody. That would be bad.

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"Oh shit oh shit oh shit oh shit _oh shit!_" Mello rolled out of his bed and down to the floor, springing back up quicker than Matt could get his eyes open.

"Gawd, Mello. Chill," Matt yawned. "What's got your panties in a knot?"

"Screw you." Mello yanked his fingers through his hair, standing up in every direction (except, most importantly, down). He didn't even bother brushing it, only making quick, jerky motions around the room until he found all his clothes. "You know that case we did a couple days ago?" Mello didn't even look at Matt when he continued. "We're getting it back right after breakfast. I need to know if I beat Near. So shut up."

"You care too much." Matt yawned again, rolling over and covering his head with a pillow. He would be on time for breakfast if he left now, and if he left the same time he always did, he'd only be twenty minutes late. No biggie.

He didn't see why Mello needed to find out so quickly, anyway. He was already smart enough for…stuff. Why did he need to waste time on worrying when he could be eating chocolate?

After only five minutes of sleeping (and a rather nice dream about Mello–just guess what he was doing), Matt was woken up by the thud of a pillow hitting his head, a book hitting the wall where his head was almost in front of, and Mello shouting, "Matt! Get the fuck up! I'm not waiting for you!"

He still didn't leave.

Matt smirked.

"Get up, Matt."

"Unh."

"Matt!" Another book flew by his head, nicking his ear. Ow. "Get the fuck up!"

"God. Fine. Chill out." Matt stumbled out of bed and pulled on some jeans, not bothering to change his shirt. He was too tired to care.

Matt and Mello walked far too quickly, in Matt's opinion, to breakfast, but they'd _just_ missed it. Mello was taken care of–he had chocolate. Matt usually slept through breakfast.

"Mellooooo?" Matt whined. "Can I have some chocolate?"

"Get your own, dip shit."

"Someone's on his period," Matt mumbled.

"What the _fuck _did you just say?" Mello snarled. Before Matt could duck, Mello's fingers were fisted in his shirt and he was pressed against the wall.

"I said you're on your period."

Mello's eyes narrowed. "Fuck you." Unexpectedly, he dropped his hands from Matt's shirt and spun around, walking off to the classroom.

"Love you too, Mels." Matt grinned, following Mello a few feet behind him.

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Matt sat cross-legged on his chair, fingers tapping away at the buttons on his DS. Mello was clenching and unclenching his hand around the rim of the seat until he reached over and grabbed Matt's hand, almost causing him to drop his game.

"You okay?" Matt whispered.

Mello said nothing, only glared at the back of Near's head. "Fucking albino Peter-Pan-syndrome wannabe."

Matt's fingers were turning numb.

"I'm sure it'll be fine," he whispered.

"Shut up," Mello said, sounding like he was being strangled than speaking.

"It will be," Matt whispered back anyway. "You're overreacting. It's one case. What does _one case _matter? _I_ think…"

Mello didn't hear any of what he was saying. He was glaring at the back of Near's stupid head, wishing his eyes were lasers so it would explode or something. Something that guaranteed him his spot as number one.

With every step that the teacher made, Mello's heart rate sped up, and his grip on Matt's fingers tightened.

"Mels, relax."

Mello clenched his jaw and shook his head. The paper fell to his desk, upside-down. He'd never seen the purpose of doing that in the first place. It just made it worse.

Glancing up at Near's desk again, he saw a 100% scrawled in red letters. No 'good job' or anything like that–100s were not a commodity.

Mello's eye twitched.

Knowing nothing would come out of this, Matt reached over with his free hand and turned over the paper.

99%

"That little fucker…" Mello snarled through his teeth. He tugged on Matt's arm, making him stumble out of his chair, and dragged him outside.

This sort of thing happened a lot. Most of the days they got anything back, Mello would storm out, bringing Matt with him, for hours and hours of studying with nothing to eat but chocolate. Teachers didn't even _try_ keeping him in the room anymore.

"Mels," Matt pleaded, pointlessly pulling back on Mello's arm. "Stop. You're only down my one point, that's pretty good."

Mello stopped dead and spun around. His hair was messier from the running, and him dragging his fingers through it. "No, Matt. It's not 'pretty good.' Do you just not care? _At all?_"

"That's the thing!" Matt said. "I _don't_ care!"

"You should! You're such an idiot." Glowering, Mello threw–for lack of a better word–Matt's hand back to his side and ran in the direction of their room.

"Mello, come on." With a resigned sigh, Matt walked after him.

Mello didn't say anything on the way to their room, and didn't say anything until he flopped backwards onto Matt's bed with his arms spread out like he wanted to make a snow angel.

"I just had this awesome idea," he said quietly.

"Huh?"

"We should put bright pink hair dye in Near's shampoo. You know, 'cause it's already white, it'll stay in for_ever_." He paused. "I need you to get hair dye."

"Um…" Matt scratched the back of his head. Mello didn't seem to realize he was sitting on Matt's games. "I don't know where to get it."

"So?" Mello shrugged, and the collar of his shirt slid slightly down his shoulder. Matt had to hold back a shiver. "Make some. I don't know. I'm sure you'll be able to find some."

And then he smiled that smile he only let Matt see, the one that made him look less like the crazy orphan who spent most of his free time trying to make Near's life miserable, and more like the angelic little kid he'd met when they were both tiny.

"Ah, yeah, sure."

Matt was melting in his shoes.

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It took Matt a week and a half to get his hands on any hair-dye at all, and it 'wasn't pink enough', apparently. After another week, Matt snuck out of Wammy's, stole a car (he said he was only borrowing it, but he was thinking of taking it again next time he needed a new game), and had to drive a lot father than he'd expected, just to find _anything_.

Who knew.

At barely five in the morning, Matt screeched through turns, repeatedly almost hitting trees at seventy miles an hour where he was only supposed to be going twenty. _This is fun_, he thought with a grin as he got particularly close to a tree hitting a side-view mirror.

There was a _little_ scratch.

He'd just say it was already there if he had to.

Matt left the car where it had been before (at least he thought so…) and ran a mile back to Wammy's.

Matt. Hated. Running.

He tumbled through the bedroom window with five minutes before anyone woke up.

Mello was never a heavy sleeper, never had been, and had forgotten, in his dream about an apartment of chocolate, that Matt had even left.

"Holy fuck!" he shouted, rolling to the floor on the other side of his bed and starting to throw things at Matt. A huge textbook missed his ear by inches.

"Mels, chill, it's me," he said breathlessly. _Never running again. Ever. "_Got the dye."

Mello's head popped up from behind the bed. His hair was a huge mess (kind of like how Matt's looked when _he_'d just woken up–that was certainly an accomplishment) and his eyes were only half open. "Gimme."

"Ask nice."

"Give me the goddamn hair dye, you little fucker."

"I _knew_ you could do it." Matt grinned and tossed him the bottle of powder that, mixed with water, would make Near's hair pink.

Mello, instantly looking more awake, grinned back and sprang up.

He wasn't wearing a shirt.

Matt quickly checked for a mini-nosebleed while Mello got a hoodie.

"I have a plan. It's great. Go by the plan." Matt nodded. Of _course_ he'd do what Mello said. "You pretend to be sick, and don't go to breakfast. I'll get you a muffin or something," he added at Matt's accidental puppy-eyes. "You'll have to climb out the window again. And then again to get into Near's room, he always locks it. Wait, first you have to put the dye in a bottle that looks like his shampoo. Then you do all the first stuff. Then you come back, look all sick, and _I'll_ have an alibi."

"Are you gonna give _me_ an alibi?" Matt asked. "They all know you get me to do stuff."

"If you got caught," Mello said very slowly, perfectly mimicking Matt's puppy-eyes, "You wouldn't tell anyone anything, would you?"

"Well, uh, no, but–"

"Then we're set, aren't we?"

"Yeah, I guess, but–"

Then Mello did that goddamn potentially-nosebleed-inducing smile that made Matt melt in his shoes. Paired with the fact that he'd left the hoodie unzipped, Matt was fairly certain he'd die from blood loss soon.

_So hot._

He pinched his arm behind his back, leaving a big red mark that looked almost like a hickey.

_Shut up, brain._

"Awesome. Look horribly ill. Maybe if you look sick enough they won't suspect you of anything."

"Mello, who else would dye Near's hair pink? Really?"

"It's called optimism, dip-shit."

In under ten minutes, Mello had made his hair perfect, gotten on clean clothes that weren't practically made of wrinkles, and made Matt almost look like he had the plague.

He could make a magazine article or something. _Uber-smexiness and making your best friend look dead in five minutes._

_Heh._

"Bye, sickie." With one last melt-smile, he left shut the door and walked away to breakfast.

Matt only then noticed how hungry he was.

Oh well.

Holding his DS in one hand and Mello's iPod in the other, Matt hopped onto his bed and shuffled around until he could get under the blankets without using his hands.

"I hate faking sick," he mumbled to himself, clicking buttons on the DS with his left hand and finding something to listen to.

_Aw, I gave this to him, happy faaaaace,_ he thought, smiling at the faded _Happy Birthday Mels_ sharpied in his messy scrawl.

Matt had saved up whatever birthday money he could to get it for Mello.

He hated his birthday. Except for Mello's, he hated birthdays in general. The best he could do was try to morph it into something that would make Mello smile.

_Hair dye. Right_.

Matt scrambled out of the bed the moment the footsteps outside stopped. He opened the door a crack, just to make sure no one was in the hall. Like that one time two of the older kids were making out. Being only eight at the time, Matt hadn't quite known what was going on and walked right past them. Once it was brought up a few years later, Matt had turned bright red, and Mello had fallen out of a chair laughing.

No one was there.

Matt clicked the door shut again and walked through the mess covering the floor to the window, picking up the bottle. He slid it open and climbed out like he had the night before, only didn't climb down a sheet this time. Instead, he shuffled along the ledge that went along the whole outer wall.

_What was it…three rooms…four? No, three. Definitely three._

Three windows down, Matt peeked through the spotless glass, and seeing that no one was there, pulled it open. He almost fell.

Near's room was…weird.

Walls completely white, puffy carpet completely white, sheets completely white, no clothes out of place, toys scattered over the floor.

_Fucking creepy._

The only door other than the one leading to the hallway was on the other wall; _has to be the bathroom._

Grinning, Matt tiptoed into the bathroom to mix the water into the pink dye, empty out the shampoo bottle, and putting the dye inside it.

Perfect.

Matt was barely out the window before he heard footsteps in the hall. He was in his bed when Mello opened the door.

"You did it, right?"

"Duh, I'm not gonna just sit on my ass," he said. "Where's my muffin?"

Mello tossed him the muffin, crumbs flying everywhere until Matt caught it. "No one saw you?"

"No shit."

"Great."

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That night, after dinner, Matt was hanging upside down from his bed, hair almost touching the floor.

"Hey, Mels?"

"Egh."

"Mels?" he said again. "Me-e-e-e-els?"

"Agh! What!"

Matt grinned and tried to flip over onto his stomach, only to fall off the mattress and land on the floor.

"Why d'you study so much?"

Mello slammed his book shut and slowly turned around to face Matt with an icy stare. "Why do you _think_?"

"Because you have an inferiority complex and hate Near?"

Mello pursed his lips. "I want to be L."

"Right…"

"Why do you care so much?"

Matt unconsciously stuck out his bottom lip. "'Cause we never hang out anymore."

He could see Mello's resolve flicker for just a second before getting icy again. "I need to beat Near."

"I think you do fine," he muttered.

Mello bit at his lip and sighed. "Sorry," he whispered. "Soon, okay?"

"Yeah, totally," Matt said unconvincingly. He stood up, grabbing some pajamas from his bed, and went into the bathroom to change and brush his teeth.

Ever since he'd turned around ten, he'd started feeling _very_ awkward about changing in front of Mello, or if Mello changed in front of him, and had been changing in the bathroom for about three years now.

It wasn't really great.

When he came out of the bathroom, Mello hadn't moved, and didn't move when Matt said a mumbled 'goodnight.' He exhaled slowly and climbed into bed, curling up with his back to Mello.

_Standing on the street, across from a line of stores. Two caught his eye._

_Candyland and Playing With Fire._

_Matt was in his striped shirt and pajama bottoms, no shoes on._

_Saw the car._

_Saw the other car._

_Saw little-him and his parents._

"_Hit the breaks! Hit the breaks!" He ran forward, pushing past what few people there were to get to the road._

_The car swerved so it didn't hit him._

_Crashed into the other truck._

_Spun past the edge of the block and into the other street._

_A third car screeched to a halt, but not before hitting the side of the car._

"_No!" He gripped his hair so hard his knuckles turned white. "No, this can't happen! No!"_

_His fault._

Your fault, Mail, _said his mom's voice in the back of his head. _Your fault.

"_I'm sorry!"_

"Matt, holy shit, wake the fuck _up!_" Mello was shaking Matt's shoulders, touching his hair.

_Touching my hair…_

Matt sat straight up and wrapped his arms tight around his chest, rocking back and forth. His breathing was quick and uneven, matching the sobs that threatened to burst from his throat.

"Fuck, Mattie, what's wrong?"

He'd had the dream before. It was him, just like in the start, only he wasn't the one who made them swerve. They did it to avoid another car.

It had felt so real this time.

It had felt like he'd been the reason his parents were dead.

_You are,_ he thought in the back of his head._ If it wasn't your birthday, they wouldn't have been there and they'd be fine._

"Ngh!" Matt's hands went from gripping his shirt to being knotted in his hair, pulling it until it hurt. "Shut up shut up shut _up!_"

"Mattie…"

"No! No, no, not you." He sucked in a breath. "I didn't mean–" The sobs all seemed to come out at once, making him shake, which slightly shook the mattress.

"Mattie, what happened?"

He jerkily shook his head back and forth, pulling at his hair even more.

_Shit_, Mello thought. He'd never seen Matt like this. He'd been the one there when Matt had woken up in a cold sweat, totally freaked, countless times. He'd never cried.

Mello had never seen Matt cry.

"Mattie, c'mere." He scooted forward and wrapped his arms under Matt's and pulled him closer so he was almost in Mello's lap.

_Mello's hugging me._

It was really the only thing that completely registered as Matt clamped his arms around his neck and buried his face in Mello's almost-girly blond hair.

_Mello never hugs anyone._

"It's okay, Mattie," he murmured against his striped shirt.

_But he's hugging me._

Mello was usually the one who made people need hugs, not the one hugging. Matt was an exception to basically everything, but still.

Matt wasn't thinking coherently. Mello was so _warm_, his hair was so _soft_. He felt like he was being wrapped in Mello.

It was very nice, after not having a hug in just about six years.

"Mattie," Mello murmured against his hair. "What's wrong?"

Matt sniffed and turned his head so he was facing the wall instead of Mello's neck.

"'S nothing," he mumbled. "Jus' a nightmare." Despite what he said, Matt didn't move away.

Mello knew about nightmares that made you wake up screaming, and Matt didn't get scared easily, either. This was serious shit.

"It's okay, Mattie," Mello whispered again. "It's okay."

Mello felt a small tug on his hair as Matt wrapped his fingers in it.

"Mattie, what happened?"

He reluctantly pulled back, fingers still dangerously close to Mello's knee. He didn't seem angry or upset, even if he was losing sleep–he seemed concerned, and Matt had never seen Mello like that.

"When I was a kid," Matt began shakily. "On my birthday. My parents drove me to my favorite store…"

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Matt had never told anyone about the car crash. He'd never told anyone why he hated spots, and why he couldn't stand birthdays, and how he couldn't look at toy elephants without feeling like something was ripping his insides.

"Mattie…I'm sorry…"

"'S not that bad."

Mello frowned and hesitantly reached out and covered Matt's hand with his, rubbing his thumb over his palm. "Come here, Mattie," he said again, and shuffled closer.

Matt's heart started ramming in his chest. _Mello's so close._ He could feel his face turning faint pink as their faces were only inches apart._ What's he doing? _Then there was no space between them and their lips met in an awkward kiss that only lasted about three seconds._ Holy mother of Peach…_

_Mmm._

_He's warm._

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Yay! Finished chapter 2 ***happy dance*** Next chapter might take a few days, because I'd already done most of chapter 2 before deciding to make it a multi-chapter thing starting when they were younger, and I have this 'graduating middle school' thing that is ex_tremely_ overdone (ugh :P) but I'll post it as SOON AS I CAN!

Again, anyone who reviews/faves/whatevers, will make my day and probably make me right faster (caffeine+motivation=superquick fanfic :D)


	3. Gone

Near's hair's still pink, it's Halloween, and there are biiiiiig spoilers for chapter 50something (it could just be fifty, I forget), and episodes 25 and 26 (you might be able to tell what happens just by when it is :O)

^but, really, I only did that JUUUUST IN CASE because Matt and Mello only come in AFTER that, but whatever :P

don't own anything *sad*

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"Maaaaaattieeeee."

Groaning the way he always did when he was woken up by anyone but himself (or maybe Christmas), Matt swatted at the source of the noise and rolled over on his side.

"Matt_ie_!"

"Fucking Goombas," he mumbled. "Stealing my goddamn candy."

Mello snickered. _He's such a dork_. "Mattie, save me," he whispered in his ear. "The Goombas are trying to _kill me._"

"I'll save you, Peach," Matt yawned, rolling back towards Mello and making hug noises.

"It's Mello, dickless!" He punched Matt in the arm and wrinkled his nose when he cringed. "Never call me Peach again!"

"You were wearing Peach's dress," Matt said, sitting up and rubbing his eyes. "It was kinda cute."

"Not cute," Mello growled. "Jizz-in-pants-sexy."

"Jizz-in-pants-sexy," Matt agreed with a nod. "Sleeping now."

"You can't sleep now, Mattie! It's the most important time of forever ex–" and he was about to finish 'except for my birthday,' until he remembered Matt's deep loathing of them and shut up.

"Wha-huh?"

"It's Halloween!" Mello threw his hands in the air above his head in a big V that made his sleeves slip down. "We get to prank Near! Ha!"

"Can't you just get candy and sleep?"

"Well, yeah, but–oh, I'm getting all your chocolate, by the way–it's the ultimate perfect awesome great wonderful time to prank Near big-time."

"You need to get your head checked out," Matt mumbled as he stood up to get some jeans.

"You're the one who sleeps twenty-five hours a day."

"Yep." Matt grinned, and with his hair all over the place and sleep still in his eyes, he looked like a crazy person. "But you looove me."

Mello rolled his eyes, but he was smiling.

If people's minds could have emoticons, Matt's would be a dancing mudkip. A very happy, Mellobsessed (A/N, best new word ever) mudkip.

"So, Mattie," Mello said slowly, carefully stepping over a mess that wasn't there until he was right in front of Matt, close enough that if he took one step more, they'd bump into each other. "What're you going as?"

"Uh, I dunno." He could feel his face get hot at Mello's smirk. _Fucking sexy._ He mentally hit himself with a book.

"We should match. Or something."

"I thought you were pranking Near," Matt stammered. "So, uh…"

"Well…" Mello smirked even more (_How is that even _possible_?_) and took that last step towards Matt and wrapped his arms around his waist, which made him blush nearly as red as the stripes on his shirt.

"Mels…"

Mello was trying to keep a straight face. He was also failing miserably.

"What the hell?"

"You're adorable."

This only made Matt turn redder. "So…um…Halloween?"

"Oh." Mello snorted. "I was sort of hoping I'd come up with an idea soon enough that it would sound good."

"Right…How 'bout–"

Mello rolled his eyes and pressed even closer to Matt, who made a small noise somewhere between a squeak and a gasp that anyone else would look completely lame making, but it was Matt, so it was bound to be adorable. Their foreheads were touching for just a moment, Matt's blue-green eyes as wide as saucers, until Mello pressed their lips together. Matt squeaked again, but smiled as he clasped his hands around Mello's neck and started kissing back just a moment later.

"You're such a girl, Mattie," Mello mumbled against his jaw.

"You're the one who has girly hair," Matt said shakily.

"Fuck you, Matt." Mello pushed Matt backwards until his knees bumped the bed, biting his bottom lip. "You're such a bitch."

"You–love it–Mels," he said breathlessly.

"Mmm." Mello ran his hands up and down Matt's sides, and as he was extremely ticklish (even if it was only Mello who could actually tickle him), he collapsed into a giggling mess onto the blankets. Mello burst out laughing at the same time and jumped on top of him, this time tickling him intentionally.

"Ah, Mels, stop! Stop! Oh shit!"

"It sounds like you're having sex," Mello said, stopping the tickling, but not moving from on top of Matt's waist. "Ha."

"Eh, fuck you."

Mello smirked and leaned down, both of their noses bumping together. "Bet you'd like that, Mattie," Mello nearly purred. "But I'd be top."

Matt turned just as red as before, and Mello kissed his cheek again. "Let's go ruin Near's Halloween."

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Mello could be a total bitch when he wanted to (and sometimes unintentionally, too). He could be a Super Bitch, however, only when it came to ruining anything for Near.

First, his plan was taking all of Near's candy, giving everything but the chocolate to Matt.

But then the best part.

He was filling Near's costume (a polar bear; big surprises there, nothing but white) with glue.

It was almost even too mean for him. _Almost_ being the operative word.

Matt and Mello walked into the cafeteria for dinner (Roger called it the dining room; ha), sending out terrified ten-year-olds to get them snacks for gluing Near's costume.

"What're you going as?" Matt mumbled into his pizza. "'Cause we don't have a whole lot of time left."

"You should dress up as Near," Mello said. At Matt's shocked look, he continued, "Then, we can make out in the common room and everyone'll think I'm making out with him. After that, you have to go change into your normal clothes and make out again, and I'll look like a total pimp."

"What the _fuck_ is your problem?"

"That was another part of my plan," Mello said. "If you'd agreed, there would have to be something seriously wrong with you." That said, Mello found it necessary to start running one hand up and down Matt's thigh.

"Dude, stop." Matt halfheartedly swatted at Mello's hand, and he just grinned.

"You totally don't want me to."

"Not in front of every fucking person here, idiot," Matt grumbled.

Mello grinned and leaned against Matt's shoulder. Matt rarely went outside, and the only muscles he really had were in his fingers from all his gaming (even if Mello was convinced he would get carpal tunnel syndrome soon), so he tipped over slightly.

"You're so fail," Mello laughed. "It's embarrassing."

Glowering, Matt asked again, "Who're you going as? I never got a good answer. You know, one that _doesn't_ involve me pretending to be Near?"

"Willy Wonka."

Matt covered his mouth, trying to hide his smirk.

"Fuck you!"

"It's just funny," Matt said, raising his hands up just in case Mello felt like throwing something at him. "'Cause you're always eating chocolate."

"That's the whole reason I'm doing it, idiot." Mello nuzzled against Matt's neck and wrapped his arm around the gamer's skinny waist. "What about you?"

"I was hoping you would pick for me," Matt said. "I'm not good at this."

"We could just stay in our room if you want," suggested Mello. "I can probably get a copy of Nightmare On Elm Street or something."

One side of Matt's mouth twitched up into a smile. Mello knew he was crap at staying through movies that gory. Last time they'd done that, over the summer, he'd ended up in Mello's lap, which led to Mello sitting on him in the big squishy chair and making out with him.

He kind of forgot the ending because of that.

"But you need chocolate, don't you?"

Mello shrugged. "We can get some candy and then take the portable DVD player into the middle of nowhere. It's considerably scarier."

"Eh…"

"Pwease?" Mello stuck out his bottom lip and made his eyes wide. It was the most irresistible thing Matt had seen (except for that one time they'd been swimming a few years ago and Mello hadn't had a shirt).

"Fine."

"Yay!" Mello shouted, turning heads as he threw his arms around Matt's neck and squeezed. "Best Halloween ever."

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As Matt and Mello climbed through the window into Near's room like Matt had when they'd switched his shampoo, Matt was quietly humming the Pink Panther song, because it made him feel like a secret agent.

"Mattie, shut up," Mello hissed. "You'll get us caught."

Matt grinned. "Rightio."

They crept over to Near's all white closet, where his polar bear suit was hanging. Matt had a backpack on that was filled with all the stuff they were using–glue, a brush so it didn't all sink to the bottom, and some newspaper so there wasn't any trace of what they were doing before it was irreversible.

It only took ten minutes to paint the insides with glue and clean up the small mess they'd made, and get back in their room.

"Heh, he's so screwed," Mello said. "You just gonna go as Matt for Halloween?"

"Um, yeah, I guess."

Mello rolled his eyes and snorted. "That's lame." When Matt's face fell, he smiled and said, "But I like Mattie this way." He rubbed a bit of glue off his hands and sauntered closer until their noses were bumping. "You can be the evil henchman who was never in the books."

"There never was–"

"Exactly."

Matt nodded slowly, still mostly confused, when Mello smiled and looked like he was about to lean in to kiss him, but only yanked him towards the closet.

"Really, Mels?" Matt whined. "You're such a jerk."

"Horny bastard."

"Yeah?" said Matt. "I'm sure _you_ like it half the time."

"Hmm," Mello mumbled distractedly. "I need different hair. Why do I have to be blond? No one's blond."

"Um, Mels…Lots of cool people are blond."

"Eh, whatever." He tilted his head to the side like he was thinking very hard. "You know what? Screw the costume. No one needs costumes."

Matt was about to say something–he wasn't quite sure what it would be, though–Mello grabbed his wrist in one hand and a discarded pillow case in the other, grinning a Cheshire cat grin.

"Let's go get some chocolate."

Mello dragged Matt out after him and bolted down the hall, starting at the kitchen before anyone else got there. Once that was done, they would go out and find another car to 'borrow,' and with all the other kids running around the grounds with masks and costumes, Matt and Mello's absence wouldn't be noticed.

"Ali!" Mello shouted. "_Ali_!"

Ali was the one cook who didn't loath Mello with a fiery passion, even after all the times he would sneak in for chocolate, get caught, and send Matt in five minutes later. She was short, and a bit pudgy, and never failed to give Mello at least a bar of chocolate every time they saw each other.

"Mel-Bell, hold on." She popped up from behind a counter, where she was getting a bowl full of little candies. "I picked out all the chocolate for you."

Mello grinned and gave Ali a huge hug until she almost couldn't breathe. Once he put his arms back at his sides, Ali gave him a bag filled with little chocolates.

"You're the best person ever." Mello grinned and shoved the bag at Matt, grabbing his hand at the same time and pulling him out of the kitchen.

"This is gonna be _awesome_," Mello whispered in Matt's ear, making him shiver. "Near's gonna be miserable–I wonder if he'll finally cry. And…and…it'll be awesome."

"When are we going?"

"Right now, when else?" Mello said. "Are you getting nervous?" he sniggered.

"What? No, I was just wondering."

"Good." Mello smirked, which was just another thing on the list of Matt-melting things he did. "Steal me a car, dear Mattie."

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Matt found his favorite car to steal, once again, and was speeding around hairpin turns faster than even Mello liked.

"What the _hell_ is wrong with you?" he shouted, clinging to the armrests until his knuckles went white. "I'd rather not die, thanks!"

"It'll be fine." _Swerve_. "I know what I'm doing." _Screech. _"You trust me, don't you?" he asked, looking entirely away from the road and giving Mello the best puppy eyes he could.

"Eh, fine."

Matt didn't know why he loved driving so fast. One would think he would be the opposite, seeing as his parents had died in a car crash. But he loved driving fast.

"Oh! Turn here!" Mello sat up straighter and pointed out the window. It was getting dark, but Matt could _just_ see a small spot between bent over trees where he guessed there would have to be a road.

Matt spun the steering wheel all the way around, skidding through the mud puddles at the beginning of the dirt road. He laughed nervously, slowly stopping the car. "That was cool."

"You're a psycho," Mello said. "Keep driving 'til I tell you to stop, okay?"

"Sure."

Matt kept going, cringing with every pothole he didn't miss, until Mello told him to stop in front of a decrepit-looking barn.

"Why are we here?"

"Just park, Matt."

He sniffed and shifted gears, sputtering to a stop. "Mels, why are we here?"

"Because…" Mello murmured, leaning over the shift, "I don't have to worry about getting caught doing this anymore." He put one hand on the side of Matt's face, fingers brushing against his hair, and pressed their lips together.

Matt took a sharp intake of breath, but smiled, and turned his whole body so he was facing Mello, giving him a better angle.

"Mm…c'mere." Mello moved both hands to Matt's waist so it was easier to pull him across to his seat and onto his lap.

Mello liked doing that, and did it a lot, but Matt never failed to gasp into the kiss before pressing himself closer and kissing harder. Always the same routine.

Mello pushed his elbows against the back of the chair, squeezing even closer to Matt, which made it easier for him to tighten his arms around Mello's back. It didn't matter how close they were–even without it being a bit chilly, they would want to be closer.

Mello went from kissing Matt's mouth to running his lips across his jaw and down his neck to his collarbone. Matt's mouth hung open a bit as his forehead dropped down to Mello's shoulder. "Mel_lo_."

Mello smiled and hummed against Matt's neck. "Yes, Mattie?"

Matt sighed as a shiver ran down his spine. Mello went back to kissing Matt's mouth, and a moment later Matt went to sucking onto the spot where Mello's neck met his shoulder, almost definitely leaving a mark. He moaned and leaned his head back, hitting it against the seat.

"Mattie–ah–quit it."

"Mm…No."

"If you don't–ah–stop, we're leaving." Mello's fingers reached up and tugged at Matt's hair, refusing to be made submissive to _him_. This was Matt, for fuck's sake. The socially inept dork with the muscle mass of a fish. Of course, in his favor, he was _Matt_, the only one to ever take Mello's chocolate and get out of it with nothing more than a book thrown at him without much aim involved.

"You wouldn't do that."

"Yeah? Try me."

Matt stopped and looked at his handiwork–a small purple bruise was already there._ Ha._ He'd really rather not make Mello decide to leave, because that would kind of suck.

"I don't really feel like doing that," Matt mumbled against Mello's shoulder. "It's kind of comfy here."

"Says the one on top of me."

"Yep." Matt grinned. He slid down so his cheek was up against Mello's chest. He looked a bit like a little kid.

"You'd better not fall asleep on me. I need you to drive."

"Aw, Mels, you're so sweet."

"…That means we're going, dip-shit."

"Yeah, I thought so," Matt said. "I didn't really feel like moving. Like I said, this is kind of comfortable."

"Maybe not for _me_."

In all honesty, it wasn't exactly uncomfortable, being under Matt. But he was getting really hungry and probably hadn't had any chocolate for a while.

He could feel Matt pout against his shoulder before squirming back and straddling Mello's knees.

"But…" Mello said slowly, hands creeping along his thighs until he twined his fingers with Matt's, "there's no reason we can't have fun back in the room."

"Couldn't we just stay out?" he asked. "It's not like anything important's happening tomorrow."

Mello's eyebrows wrinkled together. _Was_ something important happening tomorrow? "Oh fuck!"

Matt blinked. "Huh?"

"There's a report due tomorrow that I haven't checked over again." _FUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCK! _

"Mels, you checked over that, like, five times. Today. And probably a bunch of times before that. It's fine."

"I could have _missed_ something! What if I missed something and Near didn't miss anything and he gets points I should have?"

"Mel_lo_, it's Halloween, have some fun. It'll be _fine_."

"No, no, no. I need to check it over again. Drive like the wind, Mattie."

Matt sighed and slid back over to the driver's side. "You sure?" he said dejectedly. "'Cause there's only one Halloween a year. You don't wanna miss it for some dumb report."

"If Near beats me on this," Mello said quietly, "I _will_ blow up something. It won't be fun. Maybe it'll have Near in it. But yes, I'm sure, we need to go back."

Matt sighed again and jerked the key until the car rumbled to life, clenching his jaw. Mello probably wouldn't even change anything on the dumb report (which he still had to do…) and he was wasting his Halloween. It was the best holiday there _was_.

After a few minutes of speeding around loops and making mud splash up onto the sides of the car without saying a word, Mello tore his attention away from the passing background and glanced at Matt.

"Hey, um, I wouldn't have said we needed to leave if I didn't have that–"

"Yeah, I know," Matt replied coolly.

"I'm sor–"

"It's fine." Matt wasn't quite sure why he'd just interrupted Mello when he was apologizing, especially because he never gave apologies, and barely ever even to Matt. "No biggie."

Matt hated Wammy's. He hated L, and he hated everyone who made the world need another L when this one died. Because Wammy's was taking Mello away from him, and L was taking Mello away from him, and it wasn't fair. Even when they where kids and hadn't even gotten into double digits, Mello would stay awake for days without any sleep or any food, becoming Wammy's youngest caffeine junky, until he finally passed out into his book and Matt would have to drag him into his bed. Then he'd get yelled at for not keeping him awake, and it would start again the next day.

"Matt–"

"I said it's fine."

Mello ran a finger through his hair, brushing it out of his face, and went back to staring aimlessly out the window.

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Back at Wammy's, Matt and Mello didn't say much. They got their chocolate, took their shares of the little kids' candy, laughed at Near attempting to get out of his costume and get the glue out of his hair. But Matt was withdrawn through all of it, and Mello didn't smile.

In their room, Matt played his games until he decided he felt like sleeping. Mello repeatedly checked over the report, being picky at an OCD level. Matt was asleep before Mello even got up from the chair, and when he woke up, Mello was still in the same place. He probably hadn't even slept.

"Mels." Matt yawned. "Come on. You need to eat." _I wouldn't even be going if I thought he would eat on his own._

"No. I have to finish this."

Matt ground his teeth together. That one sentence, 'I have to finish this,' made him more angry than anything Mello had said before (except maybe for when he'd gotten his Gameboy broken), at least for a very long time.

"Fuck, Mello!" Matt shouted. "Fuck that. It's un-fucking-fair. You're fucking obsessive. It's making you fucked up."

"There wasn't a single sentence in what you just said that didn't have 'fuck' in it," Mello mumbled. "Good job."

"I'm fucking serious, Mello! You need to chill or else you're head's gonna explode."

"That's unlikely," Mello muttered in the same cold, flat voice as before. "I'll be fine. You're overreacting. There's not even anything to overreact _to_."

"You're coming to breakfast," Matt said, slowly and carefully, like he couldn't slip up or else he would lash out. "You're going to eat, and you're going to hand in the report and beat Near, because there's no way you possibly could have lost that much sleep and _not_ beat him. Got it?"

Mello turned around in the chair so he was facing Matt. "Fine. But only for a little."

One side of Matt's mouth twitched up into what could almost, just barely, be considered a smile. "Good."

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When Mello had gotten his report back, he'd been elated. For a moment, at least, before he saw that Near had gotten the exact same grade as him.

That little fucker.

Mello worked even harder after that–just a bit more and he would _finally_ beat Near.

He_ would._ He was Mello, and Mello could do anything if he set his mind to it enough.

Maybe.

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_L is dead._

He couldn't be dead, Mello thought frantically. He can't be.

He pushed people out of the way as he fled to his room.

_L is dead._

Even though the whole purpose of Wammy's was because L would, eventually, be dead, it was the sort of thing you expected but couldn't believe when it happened. Like your first tornado in Kansas.

"Mels, what's wrong?"

He felt himself shake his head, whizzing around the room, shoving clothes into a bag.

"Mello, what happened?"

He shook his head again.

"Mello! Tell me what happened!" Matt's hands were tightly gripping Mello's shoulders, until he saw the tears slipping silently down his cheek and wiped them away. "What happened?"

"L's dead," Mello whispered.

"What?"

"L'S DEAD!" Mello shouted. Instead of spinning away like Matt would have expected, he flung his arms around the boy's shoulders and kissed him, hard, before half-dragging him to the bed and pushing him down.

"Mello–what are you–ah–doing?"

"Shut up." Mello kissed him again. "Stop talking."

Matt sighed silently before nervously kissing back, hands at Mello's hips.

"Don't leave," Matt whispered, lowering his head so he was at too weird an angle for Mello to kiss him at. "Please."

Tears threatened to pour forward, but Mello pushed them back with sheer will. "I have to." His voice cracked. "I'm sorry." And he kissed Matt again, even harder, because it was the only way to get him to stop talking.

_I'm sorry._

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Matt shivered. Hadn't it been warmer when he'd fallen asleep under Mello?

Maybe a window had been left open…

All the windows were closed.

Maybe Mello had gone back to studying, or breakfast, or–

_Fuck._

Matt scrambled out of bed, grabbing his shirt and a pair of pajama pants on the floor. He almost missed the piece of paper tossed onto the desk.

_Mattie_

_I'm sorry. I'm so sorry you can't even imagine._

_I didn't want to leave, and I didn't want to leave __you__, but I had to, because I have to beat Near, and you could get hurt._

_I'm sorry._

_I love you._

–_M_

Matt read it over and over and over.

It couldn't be happening. Could it? No, of course not. This was a nightmare. This was a nightmare, and he would wake up, and–

It wasn't a nightmare.

Mello was gone.

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Aaaaah! OH NOES!

I am SO SORRY this was so late. All this stuff came up, it was psycho. And I would have gotten it out yesterday or the day before, but there's this HUGE heatwave, and I ended up getting really sick, and passing out. It really sucked.

But there WILL be another chapter (and a helluva lot quicker, too), and Mattie's gonna be alone for that one :'(

Thanks for reading, and big thankies to all my reviewers :D


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